


Worthless

by orphan_account



Category: Twenty One Pilots
Genre: Back Door, Gen, Hearing Voices, Hope, I Don't Even Know, I bet you can guess what some of these represent, Insecurity, Metaphors, Noose, Tyler - Freeform, blurryface is just tyler, but the voices are just tyler, depressssssing thoughts, i can rant on this, keys, sorry - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-11-09
Updated: 2017-01-01
Packaged: 2018-08-30 01:11:11
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 770
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8512990
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: For thetransguywhosoverdanandphil, because you are awesome.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [thetransguywhosoverdanandphil](https://archiveofourown.org/users/thetransguywhosoverdanandphil/gifts).



> For thetransguywhosoverdanandphil, because you are awesome.

     Tyler rocked back and forth. His head was screaming, though his mouth was silent. 

~~**They hate you, hate you, they know you're worthless they know you are broken** ~~

_~~~~Shut up!_ Tyler told himself. But the thoughts kept coming, his depressssing blurred thoughts waging wars with themselves inside his skull, coursing through his brain. 

      ** ~~Did you really think anyone could love you? No one loves you, not Jenna, not Josh, they just pity you.~~**

~~~~_No, no, they do care about me, they say they do!_ Tyler said in a panic. But he couldn't believe that, not when the evidence was right in front of his face. Of course they didn't love him, even his own thoughts knew that.

      ** ~~How could they love you?~~** ~~~~

      ~~~~Tyler wished he could deny these thoughts, but they were right. How could anyone love him. He was worthless, broken, a broken kid with a messed up brain. How could he think he would ever amount to anything? People were laughing at him behind his back. No one wanted to listen to him scream his depressing verses, his words were worthless.

    He was worthless, what did he think he was doing? 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hope is in italics. Blurry is bold with strikethroughs. This is sort of weird, it just makes sense to me.   
> Okay, quick rant. I don't think of this story as multiple personalities. I think of it as Tyler having conflicting thoughts, and trying to differentiate between the two. If that makes any sense.

      What do you do when you're warring yourself? Do you call a ceasefire, recognizing that you will destroy yourself in a fruitless war? Or do you beat down on a part of yourself, hoping to destroy that bit of you completely, to end the wars in your skull?

       ** ~~Who could love you?~~  **Tyler didn't know. Who could? 

       ~~ **Who could love someone like you, who doesn't have anything good about them?**~~ Again, Tyler had no answer. He was right. Well, Blurryface was right. The prominent part of Tyler was right. That little bit of him called Hope whispered softly. 

      _Don't listen. Blurry's wrong. You bring hope to so many people. You give them the tools to defeat their Blurryface._

      ~~ **How could you do that when you can't defeat your own Blurryface?**~~ Again, Tyler didn't know. Did he know anything? Was it worth it to try.

      _It's always worth it to try. You can inspire others, and what's worth more than that?_ Why did Tyler have so many questions for himself? Would he ever find answers? 

     ~~ **You're worthless, stop kidding yourself.**~~

      _You're worth so much. You bring hope. Your words, your battles personified, that's what gives people hope. That you know what they're going through, and you're trying to fight it yourself._

~~**But you can't win. How could someone find hope in someone who always loses?**~~ Tyler made a decision. He could listen to himself, or he could listen to himself. Well, he could listen to hope or fear. He could try, or he could give up.

     What would you choose? 


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, this is kind of a vent fic, rather than anything in succession. It's not important to read it in order or read it at all.

       Tyler stared at the little girl with the jump rope. She was laughing, glancing at her mother for approval. The girl was cute, but Tyler wasn't looking at the girl, he was looking at the rope.

       ~~ **Do you think that would be strong enough to hold your weight? It would be a good way to get rid of some of the dead weight in this world.**~~ Tyler wondered how you made a noose. Did you just tie a loop, or was there a pattern?

      _Stop thinking about that, there are so many other things you could do._

     ~~ **You need to know how to make a noose, because you wouldn't do it with the gun last week.**~~

~~~~That was logical. Always good to know how to leave through the back door, to have backup keys.

    _Stop thinking about it! There are other ways to get through this life. Scream, cry, write, sing, do something to ignore that back door._

      ~~ **But the back door is so easy, there's so many keys.**~~  

    SHUT UP BOTH OF YOU! Tyler screamed into his head. He wasn't Blurryface, or Hope. He was Tyler, one of the many Tyler's on the face of the earth, and he could make his own decisions.     


	4. Chapter 4

       Tyler was the only one with his demons.  ~~ **Blurryface**~~ plagued him, and _Hope_ just wasn't really Tyler. _Hope_ was just this fantastical idea, this undertone in his sick brain. Who was he? Was he  ~~ **Blurryface**~~ , with all the destruction warring in his brain? Was he  _Hope,_ defeating  ~~ **Blurryface**~~ and moving forward? Or was he Tyler, just a kid with a messed up brain trying, and sometimes succeeding?

      Who was he supposed to be?   
  


       Sometimes Tyler wondered if he was loved, just as Tyler. Was it  _Hope_ that Josh and Jenna wanted to be around? Was it  ~~ **Blurryface**~~ that his fans related to and needed to fuel them? 

      Was Tyler enough without these voices? 

**Author's Note:**

> Stay alive frens |-/  
> Don't listen to your demons


End file.
